


This is one I want to keep

by KatSolus



Category: Lewis (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-03
Updated: 2013-10-12
Packaged: 2017-12-22 06:48:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/910187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatSolus/pseuds/KatSolus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Robbie starts to panic when James tries to start a discussion. However, all's right in the end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first posting on getting my membership to this site. Unfortunately, my ideas all fled on creating an account. However, I have eagerly read all excellent posts for a year so thought I should pay back.

Robbie lay on his side of the bed staring at the ceiling. He replayed the conversation from earlier in the evening over and over in his head. James wasn't home from his band practice yet. Robbie hoped to delay any further conversation until later. The problem was he couldn't decide what he felt. 

Earlier in the evening:  
"Did you know the marriage bill passed and has Royal Assent. Surprisingly carried out with little fanfare in the media. Allows a whole new life for people. Would..." James stopped and took a breath.

Robbie looked up from the dishes at James leaning against the bench. He was trying to look relaxed but Robbie knew him too well. James was staring at him intently, his body slightly stiff.  
"Aye, I saw the news. That was a couple of weeks ago. Good job though." He took a deep breath, not sure what to read in James' face.   
James tried again "Have you ...."  
"Would you pass the tea towel please Pet", Robbie cut in, suddenly feeling nervous. 

James passed the towel and started again "do you think ...", he paused and Robbie quickly interjected "Hadn't you better get a move on? You don't want to be late for practice."  
James let go of his breath sharply and frowned but nodded and grabbed his keys from the bench. He kissed Robbie then collected his guitar on his way down the hall. Robbie heard a "back about 11" as the front door closed.

Robbie finished the dishes staring out the window, not seeing anything. He swore as he realised he had just dried an unwashed plate. He threw the now dirty tea towel onto the bench and grabbed a clean one from the cupboard. 

'God, did James want...? Was he interested in...? Could Robbie even do that again...?' Robbie couldn't settle his mind. He wasn't even sure what James wanted but needed to talk to someone.   
Finishing the dishes he picked up his phone, then swore as again he found himself staring into space, standing like a statue in the middle of the lounge. 

Looking at his contacts list his thumb hovered over two names. 'Lyn or Laura?' He asked himself, which would be the best. 'Should he even bother?' Lyn would say about time and Laura would suggest he and James should actually talk, like it was something they didn't do anyway. 

Robbie put the phone down. What was his problem anyway? He loved the lad. And James professed to be happy. Hell, he looked happier and more content since they'd been together, than in the whole time Robbie had known him. 'Time would tell', Robbie thought, 'he's only just ended a successful career in the police. Would things change once he was mixing with the University crowds?'

Always at the back of his mind was the age difference. 'I am too old for him'. Robbie knew James would be annoyed at his continued insecurities. 'Other couples have survived with large age gaps', James' words echo in his head. 'But should James really be tying himself through marriage to a middle aged man about to retire?'

And that was another issue that had to be raised. Neither James nor Lyn will like what he's decided, now that James has left the force and is soon to start his Masters degree. 

Robbie massaged his temples, he was giving himself a headache. He'd been sitting on the couch for ages, staring at a cold case file (but not reading it) that Innocent had given him, 'until we find you a Sergeant'. It was only half nine but bugger it, he decided it was time for bed. 

 

I have somebody new  
someone to treat me right,  
to talk to lovingly  
and to hold me all night.

He's there for me when I need him  
to give me love and support  
to hold me close and wipe away  
all my signs of hurt.

To kiss me softly every night  
and let me know he's there  
to call me just because,  
just to tell me that he cares.

Now here I go again  
fallen so hard, so deep  
but this time it's different,  
this is one I want to keep!

Last four verses of 'Lies'  
Source: Letting Go Of Love Poem, Lies http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/letting-go-of-love-lies#ixzz2aiAysVUy 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things were moving on. Decisions had been made.

Two months later: 

Robbie stood at the counter of the jewellers wondering why he hadn’t gone the easy route and foregone the rings until James could be with him. He sighed, he was glad Lyn and Laura had come with him for support but he wished they would let him describe what he wanted. Laura had been most useful in getting James’ ring size though. How she managed that without letting on why she wanted it Robbie wasn’t willing to ask. He knew James had come home most amused from his coffee outing with Laura, talking of competition between her and the jeweller and that she was losing due to dead people not been able to say ‘Ahh’. However, she had done it, they now had the correct size. 

Robbie had explained to Lyn exactly what he wanted with diagrams included. She was now enthusiastically (fingers twirling in the air and drawing on the counter) explaining this to the jeweller, who was looking slightly lost. Robbie nudged her arm. “Let me love,” he turned to the jeweller and pulled the diagram out of his pocket. “Two rings, narrow in size that will be joined together after the ceremony,” he explained, “one has a small diamond, the other is plain. Platinum please.” Lyn rolled her eyes and grinned. “Oh Dad, so direct and to the point. Not particularly romantic.” Robbie smiled at her, “I’m at the jewellers love, not at home with James”. 

Laura pushed in next to Robbie. “A diagram? Robbie I am impressed. You’ve put some thought into this.” She turned to the jeweller, a long-standing friend of hers, ‘thank goodness’ thought Robbie, and said “Jeff, can you make this?”  
The jeweller nodded, “sure, no problem. The concept is easy, and a really good idea. What size stone were you thinking of?”  
Robbie looked at Lyn. She smiled and pulled a small suede bag from her handbag. She undid the tie and tipped a ring out. “We’d like to use one of the small diamonds off this ring”.

Laura leaned in front of Robbie to have a look. “Is that Val’s engagement ring, Robbie?” She looked at Lyn and wrinkled her forehead. “You’ve chosen to use one of those diamonds? Why?” 

Lyn laughed. “Don’t look so worried Laura. This is a mixture of the old and the new, the past and the present. A new start but not forgetting the past and James will understand the symbolism. That right Dad?” She laughed again. “It’s a shame you aren’t getting an engagement ring to match. There is a second small diamond on this ring.” Robbie smiled and hugged his daughter. “No love, not my style. You know that.” He whispered in her ear, “Thanks for letting me have the stone love.” Lyn hugged him back and said, “My pleasure Dad. I love that you’re happy.”  
Lyn looked at the jeweller. “IS that OK? Are we done here, my partner and son will be looking for lunch.” She nudged her father, “We did promise!”  
Robbie grinned, “I take it that means you’re hungry, lass?”  
Laura laughed, “Well, so am I. Jeff?”

The jeweller smiled at the three in front of him who were now all staring at him. “That’s fine. I’ll email Laura with the finished design for your approval. It was Laura’s home email, yes?” The three in front of him all nodded. He grinned and waved them off, calling after them “By the end of the week Robbie”. Robbie waved his hand and hurried after Lyn and Laura. 

After meeting Tim and his grandson, Robbie led the group to a favourite pub for lunch. Lyn wheeled Matthew’s pushchair out to sit in the sun, finding a table among the other families having lunch, while Tim, Robbie and Laura ordered lunch and got drinks. James would be joining them as soon as his meeting with his supervisor was finished.

Robbie sat back listening to the conversation and contemplating what he was doing. James had gotten quite upset over the look on Robbie’s face after his aborted attempt to discuss marriage a month ago. Robbie had spent a lot of time showing James he was loved and wanted, nothing different than normal, but he had made sure to verbalise his love more than normal. He had told James he just needed some time to think through such a big change in their relationship. Nothing to do with James being a man, they were in a relationship after all, just whether Robbie could think marriage again. James had agreed to let it go but only after Robbie had promised to think about it and not just leave it.

Well, Robbie had thought and it hadn’t taken him long to come to the decision which had led Robbie to Laura’s friend the jeweller. Robbie hadn’t felt comfortable going in to any jewellers and putting forward a design. In the back of his mind was the thought he might end up in the shop investigating a theft. He wasn’t embarrassed about his and James’ relationship but had promised Innocent he would keep it private, which they preferred anyway. He and James were both very private people after all.

A hand on his shoulder brought Robbie back to the present. James grinned at him as he sat down between Robbie and Lyn. ‘Had a nice morning shopping?” he asked Robbie and Tim with a smirk. 

Tim rolled his eyes. “Honestly James, shopping is to be avoided. We had to wait for ages outside one place. Lets hope they got what was needed, hey Robbie?”  
Robbie twitched his shoulders and replied in the affirmative. Lyn glared at her partner “Tim ….” as Laura laughed and asked James if he had ordered lunch.

******************************************************************************

Friday night saw Robbie meet Lyn at Laura’s house after work. Lyn and Tim were leaving on Saturday and she was keen to see the design before she left Oxford. Laura offered to print the design for them to see but Robbie shook his head.  
“No lass, just what I wanted. You happy Lyn?”  
Lyn nodded and wiped away a couple of tears. “Yep. Send it back approved Laura. Does he say how long it will take?”  
Laura read the email message. “He’s hoping by the end of Sept/ beginning Oct. And will need a deposit Robbie.”  
Robbie nodded, “So about five weeks then.” He exhaled and looked at Lyn. “So a dinner booking and some words to find then.” Lyn laughed, “Oh Dad, speak from the heart and you’ll be fine.” She hugged Robbie. “OK, a celebration drink Laura, then we’d better get home for dinner. I left Tim looking after the oven and with instructions for a salad. He’s OK in the kitchen but not as good as James, and I’m not sure when James is due home. He wanted to go to the library this afternoon.”  
Laura grinned, “Are you sure that’s not student speak for spending Friday afternoon in the pub?”  
Robbie burst out laughing, “This is James Laura, not a 19 yr old. In fact I doubt he did that at 19.“  
Laura’s grin turned into a laugh, “Could be good for him then.” 

*******************************************************************************

The next five weeks passed quickly. Two murders and a teenage suicide had occupied Robbie’s time. He knew James and Lyn were unhappy he was still working but he had told them the subject was closed. Besides it was only for another few months. As such he tried to avoid any mention of how these cases affected him, especially the suicide of a teen over that Ask.fm social website. 

Never one for discussing his feelings, he had found coming home to a loving wife and his children had always made him feel better. Playing catch with Mark and helping Lyn with her homework had grounded him. Then after Val had come James, he had never admitted this to James but James had taken Val’s place. Even when they hadn’t been together, James had grounded Robbie. They didn’t discuss their feelings but they provided a diversion for each other. Robbie occasionally wondered if his attachment to Laura had taken this safety net away from James. However, it didn’t matter now. James and he were together and James was happy in his studies. Robbie would listen to James talk about what he was reading; he didn’t pretend to understand all of it but got enjoyment from James’ obvious contentment. He knew it had made it easier that Robbie was working. James had been able to buy a car and didn’t have to worry about finding a part time job. He would eventually be able to tutor at the College but for now needed to finish his MPhil so he could start his Doctorate. 

****************************************************************************** 

Robbie had taken Laura with him to collect the rings. They had both studied the platinum rings and nodded. Robbie was pleased with the finished product. Lyn and Laura had convinced him to purchase a matching ring for himself. So he now had three rings to hide, hoping like hell that James would actually accept. 

Dinner was for a week from now. In the end Laura took the rings home with her. Robbie would collect them before dinner. He now had to survive the next week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies if anything is not British especially when it comes to the university. I'm assuming a MPhil is a one year research degree as it is in NZ.


	3. Chapter 3

James had been surprised and delighted to be taken out to dinner. He had asked why then retracted the question. “No forget I asked. This is nice. We don’t need a reason.” Robbie had smiled and let it go, he wasn’t going to answer the question anyway it would be obvious later. The restaurant was a nice one on the Banbury Road. Robbie had chosen to drive, he wanted a clear head afterwards and being the driver meant he could safely avoid too many glasses of wine. James hadn’t had too many either he was pleased to see. 

Both James and Robbie had been busy over the last week and they spent a nice evening just talking. About James’ research, what James had been doing when not at the library, and Robbie had recounted some of the latest gossip around the station. He didn’t mention his current case though, even though he knew James was curious. Not only was he not allowed to discuss work he also didn’t want to remind James of the horrors of the job. 

They decided to go home for coffee so James could make his own special blend. They sat in their usual places on the couch. James in the corner, Robbie in the middle, pressed together from shoulder to hip to knee. 

They were talking about James’ day in the library. He told Robbie about a couple of students he had seen ‘making out’ in a corner of the library. “Perhaps I need to get you in there with me,” James teased grinning. 

Robbie snorted into his coffee. “That would certainly cause comment around the sacred halls of academia.” He screwed up his face, “Mind you. Having met some of the sainted academics, maybe it wouldn’t be such a surprise to them after all.”

James sighed. “Please Robbie. No ‘I’m too old for you’ speeches tonight. Don’t ruin a lovely evening.”

Robbie touched James’ knee. “No speeches love. I’ve decided to give up on that train of thought. You’ve made your thoughts very clear on the matter. So I defer to you on this one.” 

James’ smile lit up his whole face. “Really? Seriously?” 

Robbie chuckled. He hadn’t seen James look so happy since he had first admitted his feelings for the lad. “Seriously.” He took a deep breath and put his cup on the coffee table. “ You know James, you were a bit of a shock to me. I never expected to fall in love, and certainly not with my Sergeant, my male Sergeant at that. And I just wanted to let you know that even though I miss you at work, and feel that you would have made a damn fine Inspector, I back your decision to leave 100%.” He squeezed James’ knee. “I back whatever you want to do 100% as long as it makes you happy.”

James narrowed his eyes at Robbie. “Are you feeling alright? It’s not like you to give in to your feelings. And on one glass of wine at that.” 

Robbie smiled. “Give over. I can do feelings when I need to. Anyway – I have one question for you.” He looked intently at James, who raised his eyebrows and waited. 

“You deserve love, passion and security. I want to say that I love you and … want to give you all of those and more..” Robbie took a deep breath as James seemed to be holding his, wondering what Robbie was about to say. “Will you marry me James?”

James had been silently hoping but his mouth still dropped open in shock. “Are you sure? I want you to be happy. I don’t want to push you into something you aren’t ready for.”

Robbie sighed. “As I said James, I love you..” He fumbled in his pocket. “And as for sure? Oh yes. Even had these made.” He held the box out in front of James, as James’ mouth dropped open in shock again. James put his hand up to take the box but Robbie shook his head. “Ah not yet. You haven’t answered yet. Of course, if you don’t want to…” 

He grinned at James as the lad nodded his head rather vigorously. “Oh god, yes, yes. Of course I’ll marry you. No question, yes.” He leaned over and kissed Robbie, the kiss turning into a rather long make out session on the couch. Both had forgotten the small jewellers box by the time they parted panting for breath. Until that is James sat on it when he sat back into his corner of the couch. 

James pouted at him as he pulled the box out. “How come you weren’t worried I was going to say no?” 

Robbie chuckled. “Your eyes were saying yes. I’ve been around you long enough James. Don’t worry you’re still a mystery, just not all the time. You going to open that?” He nodded at the box. 

James grinned and kissed him again. Then opened the small box. “Oh they’re lovely. You had these made specially?” He took the wider, larger ring out and twirled it on his finger looking at Robbie. “Your’s.” Robbie nodded. “And these are for me.” Robbie nodded again as James ran his fingers over the other two rings. “An engagement ring?” James looked at him and smiled.

Robbie nodded again. “Unless you don’t want an engagement ring. They can be joined now and saved for the wedding if you want?” He bit his lower lip and took the ring with the stone out of the box. “The diamond is from Val’s ring. Lyn and I thought .. well.. umm… A bit strange maybe but …” Robbie stopped as James took the ring from him to study. Robbie finally looked at his face. 

James had the biggest smile Robbie had seen on him yet, as he looked closely at the ring. He read the inscription, “J & R. Simple and to the point.” He glanced at Robbie while holding the ring out for Robbie to take. “I think it’s beautiful and I love the connection to Val. Past and present. I don’t want you to forget her. Come on Robbie, you know the drill, you have to put it on me to make this official.” James started laughing as Robbie took the ring from him and snorted. He waved his left hand in front of Robbie. 

Robbie took James’ hand and gently pushed the ring over his knuckle into place. James kissed him again and leant back against the couch holding his hand in front of him to examine the ring. “I wasn’t sure you’d be the engagement ring type,” Robbie said as he watched him. “But I’m glad you like it. I wanted you to have something to celebrate the beginning of this new stage in our lives.” 

“Do you have one?” 

Robbie shook his head. “Nah. Don’t misunderstand but I’m happy with the wedding band. You deserved something special though.” James nodded his acceptance. He was too happy to argue the point with Robbie; maybe he could change his mind later.

“Did you say they’d be joined together?” James looked curiously at the second band, forgotten in the box until then. 

Robbie nodded. “You have long fingers. They’re designed to be joined together permanently, or you can wear them as separate pieces, your decision. Lyn and Laura talked me into getting the band for myself so they would all match. We can discuss inscriptions for them later.” 

James laughed. “Ohh, I’ve just connected. Laura’s competition with her Jeweller friend; that was to get my ring size wasn’t it?” Robbie nodded, an amused look on his face. 

James placed the two bands he was holding back into the box and snuggled into Robbie’s side leaning his head on Robbie’s shoulder. “We’d better put this somewhere safe, I’d hate to lose it. You are a romantic man Robbie Lewis, I’m lucky to have you.” 

Robbie huffed a laugh and putting his arm around James pulled him closer. They looked at the rings in the box for a while before Robbie closed the lid, settling his hand over James’ in the process. He kissed James’ forehead. “Come on love, bed.” 

*************************************************************************************************************************************

Their loving that night was a slow, leisurely affair, just a slow climb to pleasure, their voices mingling; a soft sigh until they were both sticky and sated. A quick clean up and then James drifted off to sleep, Robbie pressed against his back, his arms wrapped around him, holding him tight.


End file.
